


Sister, Sister, Sister

by Morphamagus



Category: Beetlejuice (1988), Beetlejuice (TV 1989), Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Gen, Three Lydias AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-16 03:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21264245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morphamagus/pseuds/Morphamagus
Summary: Lydia, Cassandra and Melanie are strange and unusual sisters. After the death of Lydia and Cassandra's mother, Emily Deetz, Charles decides that what his family needs is a change of scenery. It's Delia who finds them a perfect home, a little house on a hill in the town of Winter River, Connecticut. The only issue is that the house seems to be haunted.Based on the Three Lydia AU by whencartoonsruletheworld on tumblr where Movie!Lydia, Cartoon!Lydia, and Musical!Lydia are sisters.Plot based strongly on the musical with elements from the movie and cartoon.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My take on the Three Lydias AU.
> 
> Note:  
Movie!Lydia - Lydia  
Muscial!Lydia - Cassandra  
Cartoon!Lydia - Melanie

Black had always been a comfort for the Deetz sisters. A Gothic aesthetic usually made them stand out in crowds of colorful masses but today they were but specks in the mourning crowd.

_ “We have gathered today to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. A pillar for the community and loving mother to her daughters, Lydia and Cassandra.” _

Lydia’s black cotton dress was sticking to her back in the sunshine of the graveyard, the temperate day turned sweltering by a lack of breeze. Her sister Cass stood right above the hole in the ground underneath the tented pavilion, a blood red rose in hand. The casket had already been lowered in and Lydia had thrown her own rose down onto the box below. 

_ “Let us not forget that there is a time for everything.” _

Cass was a statue in black lace, her mourning dress the last thing she ever sewn with Mom. The automatic movements since their mother’s death seem to have stalled in front of the open grave. She wouldn’t move. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t do much of anything.

_ “A time to rend, and a time to sew.” _

Lydia felt a tug on her sleeve. Her littlest sister looked up at her. 

“Should I go help her?” Melanie’s hushed voice barely carried over the droning of the Priest. The eight-year-old had been unusually quiet all day. Though Lydia supposed that it was probably her first funeral. Mel probably just didn’t know what to do with grief. Lydia could relate.

“No. Just give her a second.”

_ “A time to weep, and a time to laugh.” _

She’d spent up her tears in the last week. After the accident, and the arrangements, and the steady line of apologetic visitors. Her eyes were dry, her back was covered in sweat, and her rose was in a hole in the ground right above her dead mother. 

_ “A time to kill, and a time to heal.” _

Mel released Lydia’s sleeve and turned around.

“I’m going to follow Dad.”

Looking over her shoulder Lydia spotted her father and Delia, arm in arm walking back towards the car. He hadn’t said more than a few words to she and Cass over their new living arrangement. Lydia had always been under her Dad’s roof, visiting her Mom on big holidays, but Cass had only ever lived with Mom. And now all of her worldly possessions were stuffed in a corner of Delia’s art room and she slept on an air mattress in Mel’s room. 

_ “A time to mourn, and a time to dance.” _

Cass stared at the retreating backs of her family, empty handed. Lydia hadn’t even seen her throw the rose. 

_ “A time to be born, and a time to die. Thanks be to God.” _

The Priest closed his bible and the other mourners slowly began to disperse. Lydia stepped up next to her sister and grabbed her hand, it was clammy and cold. They both looked back down at the casket covered in dirt and flowers. 

“Hey Mom,” said Lydia, “We’re finally wearing those dresses you and Cass made. Mel’s needed to be taken in before she could wear it but she really loves it. Said it was the best early christmas gift ever.” Cass’s hand held onto Lydia with a crushing grip, her thumb stroking the extra spiderweb lace that fluttered over the back of her hand. “That lavender sash was a great idea too. She’s been putting it with everything. Even her skeleton PJ’s.”

Cass snorted beside her. The sister’s eyes connected and Lydia gestured towards the opening. But Cass only shook her head. 

Lydia continued. “Don’t worry about your new place though, we’ll make sure it’s taken care of with all the creepy weeds and spooky shadows you could ever need. I can even bring in the old weeping bride from our first haunted house.” She could see exactly where to put it right next to the word Rest on the headstone. 

“I’m going to-”

Lydia stopped herself.

“We’re going to head home but we’ll be back. Promise.”

Lydia tugged Cass away from the grave. People were idling around the parking lot giving their condolences. Charles stood next to his old business friend, Maxie Dean. Mel was leaned against his waist listlessly tugging on their father’s tailored suit jacket.

As Lydia and Cass approached he grabbed Charles’ hand in a firm shake before patting Mel on the head. “Be good now.” His smile was all perfectly straight white teeth that gleamed in the sunlight. 

Delia pulled up next to them in the family SUV., “We’ll be headed home in just a second girls. Thankfully we don’t have to worry about any food. I think our fridge is almost all casseroles at this point. Why don’t we load up.” Delia then waved over to Charles and Mel gesturing to the car.

Lydia could see little Mel tugging their father to the passenger door and as the family loaded in Delia filled the empty space with pointless chatter.

“And I heard that the Martinez family just got a new dog, which is what Mary told me earlier though she had only heard this from Mr. Val who is allergic-”

Charles opened the car door slipping inside while Mel slipped into the backseat, climbing over Cass to sit in the middle.

“- and so I told Greta that they really should just get a fish instead.”

It was Lydia who cracked. 

“Delia can we just… not today?”

Delia turned back to look at the girls. “Oh. Sorry, I’ll just tell you later Charles.”

The car drifted into silence as they headed back to the house. Lydia could see all of the pine trees lined along the road drift past like a floral conga line. The silence seemed to stretch as far as the trees outside and the three girls in the backseat seemed to be drifting with it.

###

Adam and Barbara Maitland lived in an idyllic house on the top of the highest hill in Winter River, Connecticut. Of course this had been by design. Adam had built their home from the ground up as a part of their ten year plan after he married Barbara. The victorian stood on the patch of land with the perfect view river for which the town was named. Adam remembered the afternoon when they had painted the white-wash on the wooden siding and the evening he and Barbara spent sanding the stairs to the front entrance. 

His lovely wife now stood outside their home, pinning up sheets on the clothesline. Adam rolls their station wagon into the driveway, grabbing his Hardware store purchase. He hopped out with an extra skip in his step and greeting his wife with a kiss on the cheek.

“You won’t believe what I had to deal with!”

“Oh”, Barbara grabbed another sheet out of the basket starting to pin the corner. Adam dropped his bag and grabbed a wooden pin off the line, clipping the other corner to the line. 

“Yes, they just hired a new cashier who didn’t know whether they had that fine grit sandpaper I ordered. She didn’t even know how to pull up the inventory list.” 

He grabbed another clip and grabbed the next sheet.

“So she had to call Mr. Stevens who didn’t even know what order I was talking about. He had to come back early from lunch just to remember once he walked through the door. He’d left them under the counter.”

“Ah, poor baby.” Barbara pouted her lips at him.

Adam met Barbara’s eyes over the laundry line. The silence lasted a beat too long and they both turned back to grabbing a new sheet. 

“Well it wouldn’t have been an issue if he didn’t have his mind scattered around.”

“Come on Adam, Mr. Stevens is almost seventy! I bet your memory will be just as bad when you’re that old.”

The last sheet is pulled from the basket and Barbara threw the last pin at Adam’s head.

The wooden pin pings off the lens of his glasses. He lunged under the pinned laundry in retaliation. He snagged Barbara by the hips smacking a sloppy kiss on the top of her head then resting his chin on her shoulder.

“Well I’m telling you that there is no way I’m going to be that forgetful when I’m an old man. This brain is a steel trap.”

Adam snagged another kiss before grabbing the sheets corner and clipping it to the line. 

“Well did that steel trap brain of yours remember to grab that casserole dish from Jane’s house.”

“...”

“I’m going to take that as a no.” Barbara had a smile dancing on her lips as Adam huffed grabbing his bag from the ground.

“You know I take every chance to forget Jane.” He dropped his bag into the laundry basket as Barbara untied her apron. “I swear if that woman asks us one more time if we’re willing to sell this place I’m never going to another one of her little get togethers.”

“She’s not that bad,” said Barbara, “and we can’t not go to another of her parties. Not at least until I get my dish back. I was supposed to be making some food for the Thompson’s until someone left it behind. Again I might add.” Barbara playfully smacked his behind as she dropped her apron in the basket.

“We only have to worry about that once their baby arrives.”

“She had the baby a couple hours ago.” Adam walked up the front steps and into the living room dropping the basket on the couch.

“Fine”, Adam signs,”I’ll go get the pan. But first, lunch.”

He walked past the dining area, avoiding the floorboard that had been creaking since the big storm a couple months back. Adam kept meaning to take a look down in the basement but he didn’t think there was really any issue other then perhaps a warping of the floorboards. They’d added it to their to-do list. He’d work on it once he finished up on this crib for the Thompson’s new baby.

“Sandwiches okay?” He called over his shoulder. 

“Perfect!” He can hear Barbara rearranging some of her old pottery projects. He starts going through their cabinets grabbing the sandwich supplies. 

“Are you ever going to paint those jugs?”

“Why would I? I like them just the way their made. And this kind of clay will hold this tone so well there’s no reason for a glaze.” Barbara started to wax poetic about the merits of natural looking pottery as Adam grabbed some chips to add to their appetizing lunch of ham and cheese on white bread. Once his dishes were ready he grabbed the plates in one hand and grabbed a pitcher of ice tea from the fridge. He carefully balances his way back to the dining room. 

“Oh let me help you with that.” Barbara took a step towards him. Adam hears the floor groan.

“I promise I’ll take a look at those-” CRACK.

Adam feels wind rush up as he’s overcome with a feeling of weightlessness. 

…

…

…

Wait… is he in the basement. Looking up at a large hole that was his dining room Adam tried to get his bearings. There were shards of glass and porcelain lying around him. He groans making his sore body try to get into a sitting position.

“Barbara?”

“Adam?”

His wife is in much of the same predicament. She had a nasty looking bruise forming on the side of her head that she was gingerly touching. But she was also still sprawled on the floor.

“BARBARA!”

He shot to his feet seeing double of his wife. One with a little bump on her head looking at him with worry. And the other… the other…

Barabara turned around and spots her doppelganger who she is sitting on top of. No not on top of, she’s sitting through the other body’s lap. She screams jumping to her feet and into Adam’s arms. He feels her solid weight but she’s so cold to the touch. Like she’d just stepped inside from a blizzard. 

“Adam...” He turned his shoulder and saw it. His body is laid on the floor still surrounded by glass and porcelain shards that hadn’t even been bothered by his rush to his wife.

“Barb, I don’t understand-”

“I don’t think we survived that fall.”

Adam looked back up through the hole into the rest of their house. He grabbed Barbara's cold hands dragging her up the stairs into the dining area. They both peer over the edge of the newly made hole in their floor but their doppelganger’s bodies are still laid out on the floor of the basement.

“Oh God…”

“I don’t understand I just-”

“I know.”

Adam’s mind isn’t working quick enough.

_ I’m Dead. Barbara’s Dead. We’re Dead. _

He felt his throat start clogging up but he can still feel Barbara’s hand in his anchoring him to that moment.

“So we’re dead, But at least we’re together. Maybe nothing has to change. We’re still in the house and we have each other.”

He heard movement from the living area, both he and Barbara’s heads snapped up at the sound.

A creature popped up from behind their couch. Shaped like a man in a dirt crusted black and white striped suit with mold growing on its face in a green tinted five-o-clock shadow. It had green hair standing on end and wide eyes fixed upon the couple. It opened its mouth showing stained teeth and a tongue stained black. 

“Hi.”


	2. Moving Day

“As you can see there is a large amount of space. And of course brand new hardwood floors in the living room and dining area.”

The realtor, Jane Butterfield, opened up the front door stirring up the two month accumulated dust. The furniture had been removed from the previous residents but the floral wallpaper was still on the walls. Charles made a show of looking at the packet of papers attached to a clipboard in hand, flipping until he found the inspector’s report.

“It says here that there was a structural problem due to water damage on the basement beams. Everything looks fine now though we should look into renovating the stress points of the support pillars,” said Charles.

“I sense very good energy,” said Delia walking in behind Charles, a lit bundle of sage in hand. She drew the sage around the room pulling the smoke into swooping designs. “Though you did say that the previous owners… passed on in the house.”

Jane looked back to them from the kitchen doorway. “Yes, it was quite tragic. A lovely couple but they did keep mostly to themselves. Though I’m sure that they would be happy knowing such a large family is moving into their house. This place was just to big for just the two of them you know.”

Her kitten heels clicked as she walked from hardwood to linoleum in the kitchen. She gestured to the amenities around her. “All appliances are still in good condition but if you need to order anything you may have to go into town for a better internet connection. It will keep your girls off the web if that is an issue. I know with my little Claire gets her phone privileges taken away every other week.” She smiled at Charles and Delia, who stood behind her inspecting the cabinets and waving the smoking sage respectively. “Will your girls be enrolling in Miss Shannon’s?”

“We haven’t decided yet. The school year just ended so we have the summer I suppose,” said Charles. “I’m going to let the girls decide where they would like to go. I’d love to plan a dinner party. Introduce the girls. It’d do them some good knowing other kids in town.”

“Oh isn’t that perfect thinking Charles!” Delia clapped her hands together dispersing the sage smoke under her nose causing her to continuously sneeze.

“Oh dear.” Charles grabbed the smoldering bundle and threw it into the sink running water over it.

“No I’m alright - _ achoo- _ I just need a moment. This is a beautiful home Jane. We really can’t thank you enough.”

“Oh it’s nothing really,” said Jane. “You already have my number so please feel free to call. Introducing our girls sounds like a great idea.”

The three made their way back out into the living area just as Lydia and Mel walked in. Lydia’s too large down jacket was in opposition to the warm day outside. Her hair pulled up in a short messy ponytail with her most prized possession, her film camera, strapped securely around her neck. Mel was only a step behind her in matching black. Her shirt was tied with a bright purple sash, the same color as the scrunchie in her hair holding her ponytail in the same style as her older sister. In her hands was a small carrier containing her grey cat, Percy.

Lydia wandered over to the stairwell looking up into the shadowed gloom of the unlit second floor. A spider sat on cobweb right at eye level. She held her camera aloft and snapped a pick of the small creature. 

“A bit dark and gloomy. I can live here.” 

Mel giggled. 

“It wouldn’t be home if it wasn’t a little dark and gloomy.”

The sisters shared a smile.

“Me, let Percy out so I can get a shot. He should look black in this lighting.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Delia scampered up to the girls her hands catching the cat carrier before Mel could reach for the latch. “I think Percy should stay put until everything has been moved in. And you girls need to - Pick. Your. Rooms!” 

She beams at her daughter and step-daughter. 

“Chalres do you have the uhhh-”

“Right here honey.” He holds three papers out to them, pulled from his clipboard stack. He grabbed a packet of pens and a small roll of tape from his jacket pocket holding them out for Delia.

“Oh perfect. Girls I want you to take these and tape your names to the door of whichever room you want. That way the lovely movers can just take everything straight up.”

She presented the pen packet, rainbow colored sharpies in bright neon colors, to her audience. Through the front door of the house two movers held a cloth covered couch between them. 

“Ah gentlemen perfect timing you can set that right in here,” said Charles.

The two men set the couch against the far wall removing the moving sheet. The couch itself was a blue pastel but the most distinguished feature was the 15 year old girl laid out upon the cushions. Her curly black hair was cut to her shoulders and was fanned about her face. In her hands she held a bouquet of white lilies across her stomach. Her black lipstick was the exact same shade as her knee length dress and combat boots.

“Does this couch make me look dead?” asked Cass. 

“As a doornail.” deadpanned Lydia, bringing her camera to her eye. “Good enough for a death portrait at least.” 

Mel and Cass chuckled. The click of the shutter wasn’t loud enough to cover the sigh that escaped their father. He pinched the bridge of his nose, gesturing to Jane. 

“I’m so sorry about this Mrs. Butterfield, my girls have been in a...  _ dark _ humor since their mother passed.”

Jane covered her heart with her hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you but that’s why we’re moving out here. For a fresh start. A new chapter for all of us.”

Cass snorted. “More like a new book.”

“Yes… quite.” Charles pursed his lips looking at his two daughters perched on the couch.

“Girls! Remember what my guru Otho says ‘The journey to life will lead you on many paths, just be sure to pack clean underwear’ ,” said Delia.

It was Lydia’s turn to snort.

“Anyway,” said Charles, turning to Jane.”Thank you so much for your help Mrs. Butterfield. We’ll be sure to get in touch about that dinner party.” He shook her hand once more before showing her back out the front door.

Once Jane was walking back down the steps to her car Chalres turned on the girls.

“Alright family meeting.”

He pulled Delia next to him confronting the two girls on the couch.

“I told you both that we needed to leave all that sadness behind- wait Melanie where are you?” 

A pitiful meow sounded behind Delia revealing Mel, cat carrier still in hand. He grabbed the girl by the shoulders and moved her to the couch next to her sisters.

“This move is a chance for us to move forward and start new so I’m setting down some ground rules.” 

He clapped his hands together and then raised a single finger.

“There is only one rule. We as a family are going to enjoy this move. So that means happy smiles and happy colors.” His eyes ran over the three of them taking stock of the almost complete lack of coloration in his daughters’ wardrobe choices.

“I like black,” said Lydia.

“Yea me too. It’s a great color. And it goes really good with my sash,” said Mel, flicking her lavender sash in front of Percy’s cage. His dark grey paw reached through the crate door batting at the fluttering cloth. 

“These are my mourning clothes,” said Cass. “Dead mom helped me make this dress. I’m not going to not wear it.”

Charles raised a brow at her.

“Dead mom?”

“I have a mom, she’s dead. Dead mom.”

Chalres looked down at the three seemingly not able to come up with a response. 

“Just please try to give this move a chance. I need to check on the movers. Go pick your rooms.” Charles straightened the lapels of his already pristine suit and walked outside. 

Delia plastered a smile on her face. 

“Come on girls, I know that this is all a big change for all of us but remember what my guru Otho says every success starts with sucks but ends with yes. Sucks-yes.”

Her smile didn’t diminish despite her lackluster audience. 

“Now no fighting over rooms and make sure those papers are stuck on tight. And Mel do not let Percy out until the movers are gone,” said Delia.

She left the three girls on the sofa rushing off to stop the movers from manhandling one of her sculptures through the door.

“Be careful with that!”

Lydia looked at her little sisters, Mel had a white knuckle grip on Percy’s cage with her gaze almost burning a hole in the floor. Cass’s eyes were instead burning a hole in the back of Delia’s head while she crushed the flower stems in her hands. Lydia didn’t really know what to do, she wasn’t the one who should be in charge. She sucked at helping. And even though she was the oldest that didn’t mean she should be in charge. Course of action chosen. Be the big sister.

“I call the biggest room.” 

Lydia pushed off the couch, shoving Cass down in the process. The quick movement caught Cass off guard sending the lilies to floor in her surprise.

“Hey!” 

“No fair!”

The three girls all made a break for the stairwell. Mel was always the quickest but Percy’s carrier was slowing her down and Lydia’s headstart had given her the advantage. She sprinted upstairs, flicking on the hallway light as she passed by what she saw was a tiled bathroom. She stopped at the first room feeling Cass run into her shoulder and Mel grab onto her thigh. 

The room itself seemed a bit small. It had the same flooring as the hallway. It looked more like a large closet then a bedroom with a slanted ceiling though and the one window flanked with yellow cotton curtains that looked out on the forested area at the bottom of the hill.

“I want this one,” said Mel, setting down Percy’s cage by the door.

“I don’t see why not,” said Lydia looking at Cass who just shrugged.

The girls then made there way across the hall to the second room. It was larger than the other room, with carpeted floors and hardwood panelled walls. The room looked like an old study, or a converted office with built in bookshelves on the walls. 

Mel huffed. 

“I take it back. I want this one instead.”

“No way,” said Cass, ”You already called your room. This one is totally mine.” 

Lydia lifted her camera snapping a shot through the window at the flattened part of the roof. If she could opened the pane she could step outside on the balcony like structure. She was already running through all the large landscape shots she could get from the roof’s edge.

“Let’s keep going,” said Lydia.

The three kept moving down the hall to the second to last door. The hinge on the door squeaked as they opened it revealing the largest room so far. It even had a large bay window with worn grey cushions on the ledge to create a little nook.

The three girls kept going down the hallway to the final door. It was the only painted door in the hall with a couple steps leading up to it’s red frame. Lydia reached forward and tried the knob but nothing happened. Locked then. Mel pushed her face under the knob looking through the keyhole. 

“I think this is some type of attic but I can’t really see much. Just looks like a bunch of boxes. Smells bad too,” said Mel.

“A gross smelling attic? Maybe there’s a dead body,” said Cass.

“Or a dead animal,” said Lydia.

“Or black mold,” said Mel.

The girls shared a conspiratorial look.

“Think we can get inside?” asked Cass.

“We can ask Dad for a key later but as long as it’s not a bedroom I think we’re done with the tour. This one’s mine.” Lydia wrote her name on a sheet and taped it to the door of the largest room. Mel grabbed a pen and moved back down the hall to her room.

“I can’t believe that Dad made us move here,” said Cass, taping her own name to the last room. “Nothing like living in the middle of nowhere.”

“Well I’m excited,” said Mel. “I think this place is going to be way creepier than the city. We have woods to explore. And like you said Cass their might be a dead body in the attic. We could do a seance and summon a ghost. Or a demon!”

“I don’t think that’s how ghosts work,” said Lydia. 

“And I’m sure you know a lot of ghosts,” said Cass.

Lydia raised her camera capturing her sisters in the gloom of the hallway. And blinding them in the process.

“MY EYES!

“Really Lyds!?!”

“Come on,” said Lydia,” we have stuff to move. The quicker we get everything in the quicker we can get Percy out of cat prison.”


	3. Interlude in the Attic

Barbara had the full weight of her shoulder against the attic door trying to keep anyone from coming in. Beside her Adam was crouched with his ear to the ear to the door listening to the people who had been trying to turn the knob a moment ago.

“What we doin’?”

Adam jumped back from the demon he’d who’d just been nose to nose with him, bumping into Barbara’s knees. 

“Can you please not do that?” asked Adam.

“Why? Being that close lets me admire your sexiness.” Beetlejuice (_Say it thrice and name your price. Here's my card. _) gave Adam a look that Barbara could only describe as sexually menacing. Adam took a step back. Though if it was because of the look, the words, or the fact that he had only a little while ago laid a sloppy kiss on both of them she couldn’t say. 

Figuring out you’re dead, being scared by a being that was apparently a real demon and then promptly dipped and smooched was a weird start to her afterlife. And she unfortunately could taste it. Like if someone soaked cigarette butts in a bog. 

“Don’t worry those breathers are going to be soooooo gone,” said Beetlejuice, face now only inches from Barbara’s crotch.

“Hey!” Barbara pushed his face away only to feel some sort of slime that was smeared in the stubble.  _ Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.  _ “Listen Mister we just need your help to get these people out of our house. So are you going to help us or not?”

His smile was feral.

“Oh Babs there is nothing I want more than to teach you and Sexy a lesson.”

The Maitlands mirrored each other grabbing the bridges of their noses. 

“I think those breathers are gone," said Beetlejuice stepping back towards the only window in the attic.

Barbara leaned her ear against the door listening. She couldn’t hear the voices in the hall anymore.

“That’s a relief,” said Adam. “I thought they’d get in here and get rid of more of our stuff.” He gestured to the piles of boxes and random hobby equipment. 

“Don’t you two worry. We’ll have the living out of here faster than you can say ‘I once frenched Fred Astaire’.” 

“You once kissed-”

“But first I need to get a good look at both of you.” He turned on them now somehow wearing a white lab coat and stethoscope over his striped suit.

He motioned them forward until the couple stood shoulder to shoulder. He scratched his chin looking them both up and down. He circled them twice then floated over them to look at the tops of their heads muttering to himself all the while. He finally brought the stethoscope up to his ears and placed the bell on Adam’s sternum. A second later he turned to Barbara putting the bell in the same place on her sternum. 

“Alright breathe in for me.”

Barbara gave Adam a look but he just shrugged at her. She took a deep breath but she didn’t feel anything. No air going through her nose. No smell of the dust of the attic. She only smelled the demon in front of her and felt the bell which was creeping slowly towards her-

She smacked his hand away glaring at their ‘Ghostly Guide’.

“My official prognosis, the both of you are dead.” 

“Yes thank you but we already know that,” said Adam. 

“But you’re both dead together which is incredibly rare. Unless it’s a murder/suicide which leads to a very awkward afterlife.” 

He stripped off the doctor garb and then chucked it  _ through _ the floor. 

“Now,” he clapped his hands together, “teaching you to be scary is going to be an uphill battle and I’m out of shape, so let’s start with an easy one.”

Barbara raised her hand.

Beetlejuice rolled his eyes to the ceiling. 

“What Barbara?”

“Can’t you just scare them for us?”

“Babs there is nothing I’d love more than killing those people down stairs.”

“Hey, we don’t want to kill anybody!” said Adam.

“Jeez it was just a joke.”

He turned his head and mumbled something that suspiciously like ‘why are you so sexy’ before turning back to the couple.

“I can’t affect the world of the living. But that is where you two come in. I’ll be the brains of the operation but I need the both of you. So what do you say?”

Barbara looked over at Adam. Their telepathic couple connection led to a simple two gesture conversation. Adam lifted an eyebrow and Barbara tilted her head towards the demon who was doing spirit fingers in there direction.

“What do we do?”

“Alright! First things first, I need a base level on the both of you. So we’ll start slow with a thought experiment. What are some things that you hate?”

“I don’t really think…” started Barbara.

“Hate is such a strong word,” said Adam.

Beetlejuice sighed making the sign of the cross. Or maybe it was the macarena. Barbara honestly couldn’t tell what he was going for.

“Dig deep you sensual slices of white bread. Think of anything you dislike. I’m talking fears, enemies, things that cause general discomfort.”

“I can’t stand the parking lot at Trader Joe’s.”

“Yeah,” said Adam. “Who even designed that place? A child?”

“Probably those kids from Jane’s parties,” said Barbara.

“Ugh don’t remind me. I couldn’t stand when they would call me ‘dude’. So disrespectful.”

“You’d think they’d be taught better-”

“Wow okay just wow,” said Beetlejuice.

He turned his back on them walking towards the far wall. And then kept walking up the wall until he was pacing on the ceiling muttering to himself.

“You need this to work. They will get those breathers to say your name and then it’s Haunted House 2: Electric Boogaloo. Why God or Satan or whoever did you send me these complete apple pie american dream poster children? I mean literally anyone could have been better. Can I do this? I can do this. I can’t do this.”

Adam cleared his throat.

“Excuse me Mr. Beetlejuice we can hear you.”

“That’s the POINT Adam.”

He snapped his fingers. Barbara felt her feet lift off the floor and then she was free falling into the ceiling. She landed on her face but there was no pain. All she really felt was her dress which had ridden up right over her-

“Oooooo white lace Babs? Is it my birthday?”

She shot to her feet pulling her dress down. She was sure her face was red, though who knows if ghosts could even blush.

“Look, Mr.Beetlejuice,” said Adam, “we are more than happy to help you but the comments and groping have to stop. We don’t need your help to get these people out of our house.”

“You don’t, huh?” asked Beetlejuice, raising an eyebrow at his declaration. “There is no way in the whole Netherworld that either of you could ever be scary.”

“Netherworld?”

“Not important.”

The demon snapped his fingers again. Both Barbara and Adam were a bit more prepared for the sudden influx of gravity, just barely landing on there feet. The mossy devil was now floating in the air like he was laying on a beach lounger, sunglasses and sunscreen smeared nose included. 

“Can you stop doing that!?!” 

“Sorry Babs I’m a being of pure chaos. Expect some chaos.”

“I thought you were a demon?” 

Beetlejuice shrugged.

“Semantics.”

If Barbara was still alive she is sure she’d have a headache. She doesn’t know if she could take anymore of this. And if he made one more comment she was going to lose it.

“You two ever think about having a threesome?”

_ That’s it. _

“I think that quite enough,” said Adam, stepping between his wife and the demon she was about to throttle.

Barbara huffed spinning around to the piles of old hobby supplies lined among the attics space.

“We don’t need your help. We can get these people out of our house our way.”

She lifted up the plain white sheets that used to be in the guest bedroom.

“What are you going to do? Toga them to death?” said Beetlejuice, folding up his sunglasses into his suit’s jacket pocket. 

“We aren’t trying to kill anybody,” said Adam, “but what are the sheets for?”

“For haunting.”

“Hol’ up.” 

Beetlejuice floated over to hover right at eye level with Barbara. He looked at the sheets. He looked at Barbara. And then he promptly burst out laughing.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You’re going to scare them with sheets! By Saturn’s Dunes you’re serious!” 

He wheezed. Clutching at his sides as he floating in front Barbara.

“We are. And without your help!”

“Fine, but don’t come crying to me when you get laughed back into the attic by those breathers. I’m out!” 

He took off towards the wall and slipped through it in the blink of an eye.

“Barbara what are we going to do now?”

She turned to her husband leaning forward to peck him on the lips.  Resting her forehead against his felt more like a cool summer breeze than a warm embrace. Still good though. Still Adam.

“That creep was right. We need to scare these people out of our house. So…”

“So…”

She dropped her voice low, “Let’s haunt this bitch.”

“ _ Barbara! _ ”

She poked him in the side to push him back a step and presented him with the longer of the sheet sets.

“I know our vows said until death do us part but how do you feel about extending our marriage.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” replied Adam. He squeezed her hand as he took the sheet and draped it across his shoulders. 

“I think we should try and get them while they’re separate-”

“Hey guys!”

Barbara turned around to see Beetlejuice upper body sticking through the frame of the door green hair standing on end.  _ Did he come back to try an help? _

“Fuck you guys!”

He flipped them the bird and then vanished back through the door.

Barbara groaned.

“I wonder if they have therapists in the afterlife?” asked Adam.

“I sure hope so. Do you think he’ll find a way to get summoned by those people? I mean he said he can’t be seen but...” 

She looked to where he had just disappeared. Her mind conjured up all of the mayhem that could happen to their house if he could affect the world of the living.

“I don’t think that will be a problem.”

“But that business card. If they read it…”

Adam reached down into his pocket pulling out a small white square with the words ‘Beetlejuice’ repeatedly scrawled in faded pencil marks.

“ _ Adam! _ ”


	4. Lost and Found

It took the movers most of the day to finally get all of the Deetzs’ belongings into their new house. Cass’s stepmom had been in a fury making sure all of her art supplies and sculptures were properly places, directing the movers in a dozen directions. Thankfully Cass had stayed well out of her way. Instead she took extra care moving the boxes containing her dead mom’s things into her room. They now took up a small corner of her room right next to her dresser. Her entire life held in a single square foot.

Dad and Delia were both headed into town to pick up all of their ordered paint from the local hardware store but Cass was interested in a different objective from their trip. She had spotted the derelict craft store on the drive into town and she was a girl on a mission. Some quick finagling with Lydia (with a promise to look for places that sold film) to stay in the house and watch Mel, the three were packed back into the car and driving on the one main street of Winter River. 

They pulled up to the hardware store, a dusty red building with a small ‘We’re Open’ sign in the window and an old man in a rocking chair by the front door. Delia sent her on her way with twenty dollars and a promise to not wander far from the craft store and she was off. Although she didn’t know where Delia thought she might wander to. The only other places on the street were the post office, a small deli, and something that might have been a lawyer’s office. 

Calling the little building a craft store might have been a misnomer. While it was true there were supplies in which one could craft, it seemed to be more of a menagerie of anything that couldn’t be bought at the grocery store. 

She stepped past the display windows cluttered with Christmas supplies (in the middle of summer) and got a deep whiff of dust. The woman behind the register didn’t even look up from her magazine as Cass stepped in and perused the shelves. 

While there were no camera supplies for Lydia and a truly ridiculous number of puzzles the true prize was in the back. The shelf was nothing but bolts of fabric coded by color. She let her mind wander through her many sketches and if any of the fabrics sparked a creative thread. Or maybe she could line the back of her new built in shelves with something. 

As her fingers grazed across another pastel floral print a nice ruby shade caught her eye. The bolt was stuffed behind a hideous orange sun print but the design was hard to miss. Intricate black spiderwebs crossed along the blood-red fabric, the cotton texture didn’t feel too thick in her hands. She plucked the bolt along with some standard black and a white silky smooth fabric for one of her long standing projects.

The cashier set down her reading material at Cass’s approach.

“I can cut that up here for you. How much do you want for each?”

Cass did some quick mental math. 

“One yard each for the black and the white. And three yards of the red.”

The cashier, who’s crooked name tag identified as Connie, picked up the spider web design holding it up to the fading light from the window.

“Sweetie we’ve had this in here for years and no one’s even touched it. I’ll give you the whole thing for the price of 5 yards.”

Cass eyed the thick rectangle. It was still pretty thick with more than two dozen yards of fabric though she couldn’t tell at a glance. In the dozens of trips to fabric stores in the past her dead mom hadn’t taught her how to guess the amount of fabric on a bolt like she’d always been able too. Dead mom said she’d teach her. 

_ Though it’s too late now _, thought Cass.

“What’s the total going to be then?”

As Connie calculated her amount (thankfully still in her budget) and began to cut the yards her eyes never strayed too far from Cass.

“We don’t get many visitors. Where are you from?” The heavy gaze didn’t drift at her questioning but instead focused with a single minded intensity that only small town gossip mongers seemed to possess.

“New York but my family just moved here.”

“Well that’s exciting.” Her hands bagged the spider bolt and moved to the black and white. “You move into the old Maitland place?”

“The one on the hill? Big and white with the gravel driveway?”

“That’s the one. I’d be careful if I were you. People say it’s haunted.”

She felt a thrill down her spine at the word. The memories of ghost tours and late night wandering in the local graveyard gave her a taste for paranormal and here was something right in reach. Like blood in the water.

“Haunted?”

“Don’t you know? The couple who used to live there died in the house,” Connie leaned forward like the two were sharing some grand conspiracy, “The people hired to move out the furniture stopped by the deli on their way out of town. Told my cousin Louise about it. Apparently they kept hearing things. Like someone was talking to them from across the house but there was no one else there.”

“Do you think it’s haunted?”

“I’m not saying nothing,” said Connie. “But I’d thought I’d warn you. Them dying shocked the whole town you know. Craziest thing to happen here in years. Nice couple too. Some of my best customers.”

She finished bagging up her purchase and handed it to Cass.

“You come back now.”

Cass left and made her way back down the street to the hardware store. From all of her searching for the paranormal, trying to contact her mom with everything from a seance to a ouija board she had nothing to show for it. She’d been begging and pleading for months. Any sign, anything, to prove dead mom was still around. And as she crawled into the backseat of the car to wait out Dad and Delia she thought, _ Maybe I’ve finally found it _. 

###

As soon as the movers left and Cass, Dad and Delia left for town Lydia packed up her favored camera in favor of her old Polaroid. Mel had made herself scarce to unpack and spend time with Percy. 

This left Lydia with a run of the place, Polaroid in hand. The lighting was tilted in the windows to cast long shadows that would be perfectly picked up with the grainier film. A quick loop around the outside of the house left her with a couple decent shots. There was a withered old tree just on the forest's edge that she was already planning for a sister photo shoot in the future. 

Before her Dad left she’d been able to weasel the extra key ring from him which left only two rooms in the house still in need of exploring. The first on her list for exploration, the basement.

The room was completely empty with a simple light fixture and no discernible features. Creepy but boring. It was only as Lydia was making her way back up the stairs that the afternoon started to get interesting. Because Lydia could hear voices. And it wasn’t her family. 

“This furniture is awful! It completely clashes with the crown molding and 20th century farmhouse wall print.”

It was a masculine voice, but it was soon followed by a more feminine one. 

“I don’t think they’ll keep the wallpaper Adam.”

Lydia snuck up the last few steps, her camera held just shy of her eye line. She reached forward and gave the basement door a soft push. It quietly swung open to reveal two figures stood in the living room.

Two figures in bedsheets.

“Well what else are they going to put up that accentuates the Victorian structures?”

Lydia leans out of the basements threshold. She raised her camera to her eye and clicked the shutter. And completely forgot she had her Polaroid, not her favorite. 

The whirling click that dispensed the photo had two sets of eyes landing right on her. 

“Hi.”

There was a tense moment of silence and then-

“Run!” 

Both figures bolted for the stairs. They rushed out of sight as Lydia rushed after them. She made it upstairs just in time to see the attic door slam shut. The locked attic door.

“You alright Lyds?” Mel shouted through the door.

“Fine!” Lydia grabbed the Polaroid she had just snapped of the two figures, shaking it furiously. A first glance it was an incriminating shot of two strangers decked out in sheets, breaking and entering into their new house. But there was something that had Lydia pause. That wasn’t an optical illusion and there was no other way to explain it. 

_ They had no feet _.

She let her camera hang loose around her neck and fumbled for the key ring in her pocket. She tiptoed to the door slipping the key into the lock. 

The two figures stood much like they did in the living room, stood in sheets. It’s the feminine voice that breaks the tension.

“I thought we locked it.”

“Key,” said Lydia, holding it aloft. “Do not be afraid wayward spirits. I am Lydia Deetz. Are you two ghosts? Are you all ‘Night of the Living Dead” under there? Is that why you’re wearing sheets?”

The couple let out a collective sigh and yanked the sheets off themselves to reveal… just two normal looking people.

“We’re just a regular couple,” said the woman, all curly hair and floral print. She gestured to the man next to her, flannel and khakis and shined shoes. “I’m Barbara, this is my husband Adam.”

“You know,” said Adam, “When I was your age I would have been terrified of ghosts.” 

“But how can you see us without the sheets?” asked Barbara. “We were told the living ignore the strange and unusual.” 

“I myself am strange and unusual.” 

“Well you look like a regular girl to me.” said Barbara.

“You must not know many girls. What were you doing with the sheets?”

“Well..” Adam rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks staining pink. “We were trying to haunt your family and get you out of our house.” 

“With bedsheets?”

“We can’t be seen otherwise.” 

Lydia raised an eyebrow.

“You notwithstanding.”

Lydia thought about it. _ How did they know that Lydia was the only one who could see them? _

“If there is anyone else who is strange and unusual it’s my sister Cass. She’d in town with Dad and Delia, but I have another test in mind.” She held up the Polaroid letting the viewfinder shift her gelled bangs. 

“You guys want to see what shows up on film?”

###

Mel’s afternoon wasn’t going completely to plan.

“Come on Percy, just one little treat. You’ve been cooped up in there for so long I’m sure you want to come out.” 

Her smokey grey cat gave an indignant hiss from the confines of the cat carrier. 

They had been at this dance for a while. Mel would unpack a box, try and get Percy out, fail, and repeat. So far she’d unpacked all of her clothes.

“Here kitty, kitty, kitty.” 

A pitiful meow was the answer this time.

“You know I’d reach in there and get you if I didn’t want to get scratched up again.”

And then they were back to the hissing. She hung her head. And heard loud thudding steps up the stairway.

“You alright Lyds?” Mel shouted through the door. Her sister wasn’t one for running but there had been stranger things.

“Fine!” Lydia shouted back, steps fading down the hallway. Percy answered with another hiss.

“Look, I’m going to check on Lydia and you better be in a better mood when I get back.” Mel hopped off her bed leaving the carrier gate open. Maybe she could tempt him out.

It was only as she stepped out into the hallway and made her way towards Lydia’s voice coming from the attic that she heard something else.

“Meow.”

Mel whipped around to see Percy sitting in the threshold of her sister Cass’s doorway.

“Are you kidding me.” Mel made a motion for Percy but the escape artist made a break into Cass’s room and then jumped straight through the open window to the flat roof outside. She was only half a step behind and shimmied her way over the windowsill to confront her once again hissing cat.

“Really? Are you seriously being that petty? You’ve been locked up less then a day?” said Mel, finally getting a grip on the slippery feline sans scratches. “And what are you hissing at?”

“That’d probably be me.”

Mel froze at the voice. She turned to a dip in the roof by the white slat wall. A man was laid out in the shade of the house leaning against the shingles of the angular roof, bedecked in a striped suit, covered in moss and looking like a haunted house reject.

“Only being seen by cats, kind of annoying. But why am I even talking? You can’t hear me.” He had an arm draped over his eyes with his other cushioning a head of spiky green hair. “You can just call me the ghost with the most. The most what I don’t know. Most handsome. Most terrifying. Most likely to lose his mind because no one can see him.”

“You’re a ghost?”

The man’s head shot up so fast Mel was sure she’d heard something snap.

“Can you… see me?” His voice sounded like he’d just thrown his vocal chords in a blender. 

“Yea…”

“You can see me. You are going to be my NEW BEST FRIEND.” 

He leaped into the air. Where he then just hung there. Like a freeze frame in the last scene of an 80’s sports movie.

Mel’s mouth fell open. 

“Are you really a ghost?”

“Oh kid,” he said, “I’m better than a ghost. I’m a demon. A being of power directly from the afterlife. And right now I am at your service.”

He hopped down in front of Mel, bowing at the waist which caused his hair to flop in front of his eyes. Mel giggled, dropping Percy inside the window.

“I’m Mel.”

“I’m B-” he cut himself off with a hacking fit. He sounded like he was coughing up a lung and then to Mel’s disgust and delight he did so. The organ gave a wet _ splat _ on the rooftop.

“Are you alright?”

“Fine,” he wheezed, “But I can’t tell you my name.”

“Why not?”

“I’m cursed.” 

Mel blinked at him as he toed his lung off the side of the roof.

“Your name is cursed?”

“It’s how I’m summoned. No name sharing means no summons. Hence, curse.” He shrugged in a ‘_ What can you do?’ _ gesture. “But I am nothing if not prepared. I am begging you kid. Just say my name three times in a row and I’ll do anything you ask. All you got to do is read this.” 

He held a business card for her perusal.

“This just says ‘555-5555 I’m never going to sleep-”

“WAIT.” 

He yanked the card out of her hand before patting himself down. And then patting himself down again. 

“Where did it go? Oh sh-” he glanced at Mel “shoot.”

“Well can you spell it?”

“I can’t spell.”

“Oh.” The two lapsed into silence. Mel rubbed her chin in thought over their predicament while the demon/ghost slowly banged his head against the wall. 

“It starts with a B right. Maybe I can guess it.” 

“Kid if you can guess my name just off the starting letter you’d deserve an award or something.” 

She turned back to the stripe-y demon, name starting with ‘B’, who was floating right over her head.

“Benjamin?” 

“What?” The demon gave her an incredulous look.

“Is your name Benjamin?” asked Mel. He didn’t really look like a Benjamin but it was a good starting point.

“No, my name isn’t Benjamin.”

“Well is it a boy’s name or a girl’s name?”

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you that gender doesn’t matter as long as they’re willing to f-” he cut himself off. “Wait hold old are you kid?”

Mel looked insulted, “I’m eight and a half.” 

B sighed. “That’s what I thought, go figure the only breather that can see me is the one who I have to watch my language around.”

She crossed her arms and sat down on the rooftop across from the demon.

“Why?”

B sat down across from her, taking the same pose in a kindergarten summation of a Mexican standoff. 

“Haven’t you ever heard of the censor-ship?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you just mean censorship.”

“Noooooooooo. I mean _ the _censor-ship. You know the big boat that will flatten you if you say bad stuff in front of kids.” 

“There’s no way that’s a real thing.” 

It was B’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Shit.”

Suddenly a fog horn sounded right behind Mel’s head. She felt like her whole body was dunked in ice water as a ghostly ship careened through her and slammed into B, throwing him off the roof. The ship faded away like smoke leaving Mel to scramble to the edge of the rooftop for the missing ghoul.

“B?” She looked over the side but there wasn’t a trace of black and white stripes or mossy green hair.

“Told ya kid.”

Mel whipped around to see B shaking water off like a dog with a bright orange life preserver around his neck.

“Do it again.” Mel went to tug on his sleeve but her hand slipped straight through, leaving her with the same feeling as being run though as the ship. She shook her hand trying to relieve the icy sensation.

“Sorry kid. I’m a ghost remember. That means no touch-y.”

“Stop calling kid. My name’s Melanie, but call me Mel. All my friends call me Mel.” 

“We’re friends?”

“I mean yea,” Mel looked up to meet his eyes but was shocked to find his hair had changed colors. The bright green stands had faded to a soft yellow. “That’s what you said earlier right? Do you not want to be friends?”

His face split into a grin as he took the life preserver from around his neck and chucked it over the edge of the roof. 

“Nope we’re friends forever now. No take backs.”

Mel giggled and his hair faded back into the original green color. She didn’t reach to grab him again instead heading back towards the window gesturing him to follow.

“Come on we’ll hang out in my room and go through some books. I’m sure we can figure out your name in no time.”

“Mel,” he said, wild look in his eyes, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”


End file.
